Since when did my life become so deathly simple?
Ambition, Love, Fear--these are the terrible chasms around which my life has split.
There's a reason why Hope is their only bridge.
An infinite expanse, an infinitesimal light--
And a thousand thousand distorted colors in between.
How many times can I cross these crumbling bridges,
Only to arrive in another divided land?
The feeling of chasing a light that has never died.
The landscape is always changing, but the horizon is always the same.
The passing shapes melt and flow around the shapes of my eyes--
Because the only lights I can see are the ones that arrive at two points inside me.
Yet I'm not wavering, even if I do tremble,
Washed clean by gleaming oceans and stripped by a burning sun.
I'll follow the dashed lines once more, hoping to reclaim my memories, thoughts, and dreams,
And somewhere out there still
Is a light that has always shone for me...
And always shone for you.
--
I'm so very proud of my friend. The kind of pride that is born and lives on its own, without testing its edge on others. We his old friends sat there and watched him bite the covers off his syringes and flush the tube that went through his vein almost all the way to his chest. The antibiotic's eating away at him, but he seems stronger than ever.
He wants to ride again. He's not willing to admit so great a mistake to so permanent a confusion, and in so doing lessens them both. There's something to be said for never, ever backpedaling. Living in such a way insures that no paths in your life will ever be orphaned and die.
But I don't know if there's anyone who's been able to live like that, always. A thousand thousand worlds that are less than dead, that never existed, as a result of our choices. And so I waste my time thinking about it.
Yet sometimes you can catch the light ahead in your eyes, and make the choice that takes you one step forward where once you could not. And that's what I'm so proud of him for.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
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1 comment:
I am the weakest of my brethren.
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