page 1

(approx. + 3 weeks)

I rode into my shadow, a dark bulk hunched over a peculiar conveyance (if you know what I mean) past the S_____ C_____ and R______ ranges. I wonder if the Jesuits simply named everything in a virgin land after their faith, or if they felt compelled to saint the spectacle before them as they sainted their dead.

I saw the big sky country that they talk about when they speak of this land. Similarly sized parcels of cloud, spread almost evenly over a seeming endless expanse, framing its incredible size with motionless ease. I tried removing the freeway, the towns, the signs from my view, and tried to see it two hundred years ago. This is a land that shuts me up, even if only for while it has me in its spell.

With a backpack, and not the tank bag, I can tuck effortlessly. I don't have a pillow there anymore, though, so my lower back is going to have to rise to the challenge. My eyes a half-inch above the windscreen, the rails on my helmet stabilize me. It's so clean that I periodically relax my right twist to avoid passing 120mph. K_____ told me that there's some flat, empty, grid highway in T_____ that's so straight, people head out there and loose the shackles from their accelerators. If I find it, I'll top out the bike. I'll see if I can't top out myself.

When I look back and ask myself what the hell I was doing, as I may one more time when I'm done, I'll have a few reasons. Much of them I think only you understand. But I'll know, that as I headed out this direction, that I was testing my resolve. How long can I stare down the horizon?

--

In the G____ Forest I crossed the continental divide. 6355 feet, as I recollect. I remember how much more difficult it was to make it this far, in C______.

I remember your words. It's a tumult of meaning, but I remember them all. And, naturally, you were right. The miles are flowing away smoothly under me, and I can feel it, like armor coating the surface of my body. Deliberate spirit.

We'll see if I survive T_____.

From my seat I see the fields move by,
colours strong- it's been a long, long time.
It's the first time I see summer on the Westhill.
I lean back and let my eyes just go
floating now where they want to float.
They seem to take to the horizon.

Now I know there is a world beyond
the small place I was coming from.
I feel at home here
in the middle of nowhere.
I will never know the names
of these places that I travel through
to reach the coastline.
I've been told I will be there in time.

Please ocean cloud,
let there be no storm on the crossing below.
Please ocean cloud,
let there be no storm on the crossing below.
Please ocean cloud,
let there be no storm on the crossing below.
Please ocean cloud,
let there be no storm on the crossing below.
-Kings of Convenience - Summer on the Westhill

Through the alleyways to cool off in the shadows
Then into the street following the water
There's a bearded man paddling in his canoe
Looks as if he has come all the way from the Cayman Islands

These canals, it seems, they all go in circles
Places look the same, and we're the only difference
The wind is in your hair, it's covering my view
I'm holding on to you, on a bike we've hired until tomorrow

If only they could see, if only they had been here
They would understand, how someone could have chosen
To go the length I've gone, to spend just one day riding
Holding on to you, I never thought it would be this clear
-Cayman Islands

Every night, when I go to sleep, it's like this.